How-To Poach an Egg and How to Kiss. Not at the Same Time.

 Today I am participating in "How-To Tuesday," brought to us by one of my favorite bloggers, Stie. I thought long & hard about what I tips I could share. What could I pull out from my secret bag of tricks to amaze and astound? 

How to blowtorch your weeds without burning down your house or the surrounding hillside?

How to unclog a drain?

How not to dry heave while unclogging that drain? (nah--I actually have no skills in that department...I dry heave every time. EVERY. TIME.)

How to hoard sprinkles? (I excel in this area)

How to grow astonishingly long lashes without using Latisse?

How to hem your jeans, keeping the original, bottom jeansy-looking hem?

These are all things I know how to do and will cover each topic in future "How-To Tuesdays," but today I have something else:

How to Poach an Egg. 

 Here are the items you will need: vinegar, whisk, egg (duh) and a saucepan. And water. 

Get the water just at a simmer, maybe even before the point of an actual simmer. 


Hey, did anyone catch that "simmer" rhymes with "Jimmer?"

As I was typing simmer, my mind did a Freudian thing. 

Simmer. Jimmer. Simmer. Jimmer. (he's cute.)

Okay, back to simmer. Get the water so it looks just like this, where the bubbles are just about to break into a boil but are still clinging to the bottom of the pan. Splash a bit of vinegar into the water; this keeps the white together.

Then whisk until a whirlpool forms in your saucepan. 

I took eleventy billion pictures of whirlpools, and none of them look whirly. Dangit. 

With your whisk in one hand and your pre-cracked egg in the other, gently drop the egg into the middle of the whirlpool. Actually, it's not a drop at all. Put your measuring cup into the water and just let the egg sli-i-i-i-de into the water. 


(This is impossible when you are trying to photograph this process yourself, you have to try to balance the egg and the whisk and your iphone all in two hands while doing the egg drop. 

Next time I'll have my two year old be my photographer--the pictures might turn out better. Either that, or we'd end up with a tutorial on how to poach an iphone.)

There'll be a bit of white that gets away, but not much. Keep the heat at barely a simmer--don't let it boil!--and let it poach for a bit. I like mine at about 4 minutes, which gives a yolk that is soft and just a bit runny in the middle. 


I learned this method HERE, where the explanation is much more articulate and the photos are much better; I'll bet she had her toddler take them. 

Now, for the part you've all been waiting for, "How to Kiss." And no--this will not feature photos of me & Mike. Relieved? Me too. 

Step one.

Step two. 

THERE it is. 

I really like "Room With a View." (He's cute.)

 Simmer.

Chapter One

...in which our heroine lands herself in

a very indelicate position.

“This is entirely beneath me,” Charlotte muttered under her breath as she lowered herself to her knees. One should never be on all fours if one was angry. It felt wrong to be in the position of a supplicant when what she really wanted to do was blow through that door and smash a plate over the head of one insufferable Lord Durham.

     “Where is the blasted man?” she muttered again as she strained her eye to catch a glimpse of the scene inside.  A short burst of laughter, deep and masculine, came from stage right, out of peeping range. Ah. They were in front of the fire, then. She gritted her teeth. This made the third consecutive week that her brother had returned home from his Wednesday meeting with that scoundrel. 
     “We’ll just retire for a game of backgammon and to have a tot,” Lord Durham had said in a deceptively bland tone tonight as he had shut her library doors—hers!—in her face. “Manly things, you understand.” She rolled her eyes. Yes, so very manly. As if anyone could envision the infamous Lord Durham having a "tot" of spirits. Tots were for elderly aunties. That odious man was sure to swig straight from the bottle. 

[Charlotte's Mayfair townhouse]

~~~~~~~~~~~~

There it is, blogsters! 

A wee preview of The Book. 

Thoughts? 

Critiques, if you please!

The decision between best & bester.

Tonight: All is calm, all is snowy-bright.

I get even more nocturnal than usual in December. I putter around the house after the kids are in bed and just soak up the quietness. It's so peaceful to be in a quiet, clean house. And this is the kind of night I love in the wintertime...snow outside, quiet inside. I love looking out the window late on a winter's night, when everyone in the world but me is asleep, and seeing snowfall.

Typical me. Flipflops outside in December.

So. I had planned to go wait in line--OUTSIDE--tonight to try and get standby tickets for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert. I was dying to go because David McCullough is a guest this year; what a treat that would be. But I opted to stay home and relax with my family. I just felt like I should be home with the kids. A choice of good/better/best. And bester.

This was my drive down the hill this morning on my way to Annette's. After getting my hair done by Annette for 12 years, it feels like Truvy's Hair Salon.

The toffee bribery got me a great color, but I'm not sure about the cut--mainly because I don't know what I want to do with my mop. I'm bored with my hair, but want to keep it long. So I didn't feel too different or too extra-fabulous after getting it cut. But at least I no longer have 3-inch black roots.

Sis & Mimi went sledding most of the day, then watched a movie at their friends' house (thanks,Christine!), then we went to the library, then a quick stop at walmart for cheater-frozen-skillet dinner, then home & watched "Miracle on 34th Street."


Max built an igloo on the back patio, cozied up in his room for a while, watched Jack for me for a long time while I took a long nap, helped Mike put Christmas lights on the entry (FINALLY), went to home depot with Mike, then watched "Miracle on the 34th Street" with us.

At one point during Igloo Construction, I looked out the window and saw this. Gave me a heart attack. He was just hollowing out his mound, but still. Boys.

Baby scruffled all morning, napped, scruffled all afternoon, stood at the back door watching Max build an igloo & laughing while Max threw snowballs at the window right at his face, went to the library, then watched 1/4 of "Miracle on 34th Street." He wouldn't settle down for bed until 8:30pm because he was so hyped up from being allowed to be part of movie night. His favorite part of movie night is running at the dvd player to push the power button, causing us to all jump off the couch and run after him before he turns the movie off. He thinks it's a big chase game. Not so relaxing.

And now it is 2:31am. Ugh. Church is at 9am tomorrow. I'm an idiot.

Sunday.

I got a few boxes of peaches last week and over the course of the week did a lot of peeling and cutting. And snacking.

...and lots of stirring...

...with a break to watch Jack pop peas in his mouth.

This was my first time making peach jam and the aroma was intoxicating! For some reason, the aroma reminded me of the old Strawberry Shortcake doll named Baby Apricot--remember her? Anyway, i kept leaning over the pot and inhaling deeply and my kids all thought I was weird.

I stopped to admire my new pot, which was a result of burning my first batch and fusing the boiling peaches to the bottom of the pot. I love the deep red color. It's just a cheap walmart pot, but it's HUGE.

And here is tonight's payoff! Why are kitchen activities so cathartic to me?

My weekdays are taking on a delightfully predictable routine and I'm finding I am snapping photos of the same moments of each day; kids launching off to school, morning hair-dos, Baby on our morning walk, naptime sweetness, etc. More on that tomorrow. And Mimi had a birthday; more on that tomorrow, also. Happy Monday tomorrow, everyone!

Oh, and also--I watched this video today and it lifted my spirit.

It's got a glimpse of the amazing Stephanie Nielsen in it, which brought the message that much more poignancy.

I'll be finding a way to load it on my ipod and go for some time alone up the canyon.

Sprinkle Glutton

In the past week, I've received two sprinkle-oriented gifts.
Oh, the delight!

My friend Kara gave me this apron for my birthday, the most perfectly Me Item I now own. And another friend, Christine, gave me this adorable shaker of sprinkles as a present for her birthday. (Yes. The girl gives presents for her birthday. Love her.)

This afternoon, I hauled the kids and some of their pals to "Up" and was pleasantly surprised. I'd heard it was sad and thus had a bad attitude. I mean really--who wants to see a sad, depressing cartoon? But I loved it! It wasn't sad, it was meaningful. I was taken in by the symbolism throughout and also the hilarious dogs! The dogs reminded me of something straight out of The Far Side.



I kept wanting to hear Puddy (Seinfeld) to be a dog-voice, though. Anyway, I was thoroughly charmed. And I loved the ending. Strangely enough, I found myself thinking deep thoughts of...life's transience, the overall journey of mortality, aims to enjoy more fully those I love, and how to just be more of a fun person myself for those who are stuck with me.

I've also been watching North & South at night when the kids go to bed. Ohhhh, it's a goodie.

Oh boy, that man can smolder.

Mike's been working long hours and I've been alone at home into the wee hours. The other night I was settling in for a long night of watching the special features of the, ahem, above smoldering-hot movie when I heard the CREEPIEST SOUND downstairs! The kind of sound that makes your neck-hairs prickle and your heart take a great bound in your chest. I proceeded to self-talk myself and pry my fingers out of the couch cushions and JUST when I had re-settled myself I heard that dang noise again. I actually began to make mental exit plans from the house. I kept thinking it sounded like a toy whose batteries were dying but the creepy part was...it that wasn't a sound which belonged to any toy WE own. I was so creeped out.

The 5th time I heard it I began frantically texting all my fellow insomniac friends--the ones who it wouldn't humiliate me too much to text at 2:37am--so at least someone would know what happened to me when I disappeared due to the killer in my house. I even called Mike and woke him up (he didn't laugh at me 'til morning) and he talked me through the house as I checked locks and every little room. I kept thinking that this is what the stupid people do in scary movies; they go investigating, talking themselves out of their fear, while we watch in the audience and go bonkers, knowing there's a killer waiting behind the shower curtain, and scoffing at their stupidity for not just running out of the (scary) house as fast as they can go!!!

After repeated attempts, Cecily texted me back with some mood-lightening jokes and Kate answered with an immediate, "I'll be right over." I didn't even equivocate. I was that scared. As Cecily said, everyone needs a Kate. She stayed 'til the dawn's early light & I love her forever.

Click here to feel my pain.

...(raising my Diet Coke in a good-luck toast)...Here's to hoping Mr. Marbles doesn't scare the CRAP out of me tonight!

(and if he does--will you come over, Kate?)

Tomorrow is Another Day, a la Scarlett O'Hara

Today is the official First Day of Summer not on the Lunar Calendar (summer solstice), but on the Crystal Calendar: it's the first day the kids DON'T go to school. I think I feel more giddy about summer as an adult than I did even as a kid. I relish the freedom from schedules so much more now that I am in charge of all those schedules.

So. I had big plans of morningtime structure before the kids disseminated throughout the neighborhood, but today it just didn't happen. Why? Because I slept in until 10:30am. Oh, sweet bliss. When the mom is snoozing away in her bed, her Big Plan of a morning routine kind of goes awry.

It was totally worth it.

We'll begin anew tomorrow.

So rewinding a bit to the last day of school (last Friday): For teacher gifts, I framed these wordles for Max's & Isabelle's teachers. I loved doing it! The kids typed in the text at this site and we printed them out, framed them and sent them off to school be-ribboned and with a sugar cookie in cellophane. (oh, I've learned a thing or two from this cellophane-loving, ribbon-licious girl) I had plans to have the wordles printed at costco in poster size, which would've been so much more fun, but there were issues with the printing. Next time I'm using iPhoto. Harumph.

Isabelle & her beloved Mr. Felt, who integrates music into his curriculum (go HERE and see!) and who held a "Wednesday Jam" every week after school for his guitar students.
Hands down, the best teacher we've ever had.

After school was the 2nd Annual Neighborhood Waterfight Party, which was so much fun this year! Instead of surprise-pelting the kids with water balloons at the bus stop, we met at the park about 1/2 hour after they got home and had the waterfight there. It lasted much longer and was much more of a block party instead of a quick waterfight. My friend Emily, the genius party planner, brought a huge tarp, greased it down with crisco and set the hose going. Wa-la! Giant slip-n-slide! Here is a view from the top. Looks a little steep.

And here we have the ensuing mayhem. I wish I'd had my camera with video, because the unfiltered sounds of kid-delight were priceless.

We tried to form 2 lines and have them go down two at a time, but there was a mutiny.

I spent the time 50/50, laughing one moment and cringing the next. Laugh, cringe. Laugh, wince. The kids were fearless and after getting a foot crammed into their solar plexus or a knee in the neck, they bounced right up and scampered to the top for another go. I watched in fascinated horror.

Max.

Isabelle, all nice & dry, who never did go down. Smart girl.

Mimi unleashed.
This photo says it all.

Me & Emily's self portrait.
Emily=fun and in a swimsuit, getting wet.
Me=curmudgeon in clothes, snarling, "don't squirt me!"

Afterwards, we party-hopped to my friend Ali's, where the other 2nd Annual Last Day of School party was underway. Ali began this tradition last year of getting together and chilling (chillin'? I am so uncool) in her back yard while kids of all ages run amok. This year she rented a huge blowup waterslide, which was a hit. I love this party because it's the perfect end to the hectic pace of the last two weeks of school. Everybody brings something to share and we just...sit and relax, chatting while the kids run wild. Everybody wins.

Jack tested out his first popsicle. I think it felt good on his gums, where SEVEN teeth are coming in. Poor tyke.

And this was how the afternoon ended. Laid out flat. All of us were in similar shape.

...more later on the fun & frolic that was the last week of school.

Whooosh-TA!

Today I cracked the whip.

I made everyone a cleaning list and we worked hard for an hour and a half. The sad thing is, the lists mostly consisted of basic pickup. It seems all I can do to just stay on top of the clutter and the put-away. I suspect the days of cleaning baseboards are gone. Max & Sis each had to clean their rooms and one other room really well. Max did the book nook. Sis did the kids' bathroom. Mimi did small jobs in her room and cleaned mirrors and doors. I thoroughly decluttered my room.

Mike also had a long list consisting of the kitchen, office and living room; I ended up with clean gutters, a sprayed driveway, a fixed rain gutter, a yard cleared of tumbleweeds & Christmas lights strung up.

It seems all I have to do to get my outdoor chores done is give my husband indoor chores. Heh, heh. (smirk, cackle, rub hands together.)

Max helped with the tumbleweeds. Here is the huge pile that is almost as tall as he is. He also pushed the baby around in the stroller for close to two hours...up & down the street and all around the park.

As a reward for finishing their long lists with a good attitude, we went to a movie. (I usually don't have the kids do chores on Saturday; they do an after-school job on weekdays and I reserve Saturday for family fun.) Sis' little friend Lauren was working right alongside her, motivating her and keeping her from dawdling, and she came with us to the movie. We saw "Madagascar 2," which was HILARIOUS. How did I miss the first one? I was gut-laughing the entire time.
A little side-note: Look at Mimi's shoes. Atrocious. White high-heeled sandals--totally inappropriate for a 5-yr old--with socks. In winter. My friend Ali handed these down to her and since Mimi worships Ali's 12-yr old daughter...the white shoes go everywhere, are worn with any outfit and are considered the height of fashion. There is no convincing her otherwise.

And in other news, here is my weekly addition to my food storage. At $1/box, how could I pass it up? It's vitamin-fortified, right? Nutritious. (I also added some Shirley J seasoning, a case of tomato sauce, instant yeast & 6 cans of chicken.)
This week's Food Storage Friday occurred on Tuesday, due to Wendi's trip this weekend to New York City. We took a field trip to the Bosch store and priced wheat grinders; we were both a bit surprised at how expensive they are. I plan to tweak Wendi's nose a little and tell her she could have bought a wheat grinder AND a Bosch mixer for the money she spent going to NYC. (yet again...smirk, cackle, rub hands together.)

I think my plan for Food Storage Friday next week is to get serious about listing on a 3 month calendar rotation all the pantry meals my family likes to eat. My goal will be to gather the ingredients for those meals. These meals might include some fresh ingredients, such as lettuce in taco salad, but those ingredients can be left out in an emergency and the meal will still be tasty. Meals like haystacks, taco soup, spaghetti, black bean enchiladas, etc. I will also work on my water storage. Another goal is to print my 72-hour kit checklist and actually put everything together in one place for a grab-&-go kit. I have most everything I need for our 72-hour kits, but it is not compiled into one place. Can you imagine me in an evacuation situation?....running around, willy-nilly grabbing what we need?

* (please note: "evacuation situation" rhymes nicely. Should I compose a rap?)
* (also note: the phrase "willy-nilly" is vastly under-used. I will for sure include it in The Food Storage Rap.)

For anyone who is interested, it is now 3:08am. What the crap am I thinking, being up this late??? Goodnight.

In the Fetal Position, Rocking Back & Forth in a Corner

* Tonight I was in charge of the combined Youth activity.
* We did a photo scavenger hunt.
* I am exhausted.
* It was fun.
* It could have gone more smoothly.
* I wish I had more thoroughly thought through every nuance.
* I think the kids had fun.
* I think the adults were ready to go home.
* I am drained.
* I don't like it when my activities turn out chaotic--it makes me feel like a failure.
* I wanted to cry during the 2nd half of the night.
* It felt like the activity was driving ME, instead of me driving the activity.
* I expect near-perfection of myself. It's tiring.
* Dawnell brought fondue for refreshments. A big hit.
* We finished the night with no chocolate drizzles on the floor. Amazing.
* We had a huge group show up. That's good.
* It was difficult to get their attention. That's bad.
* I had to stop myself from going into full-on Mean Teacher Mode.
* I was voted Meanest Teacher when I taught 7th grade. Smirk.
* I wish I could have a do-over of this night.
* I would think through every little detail and plan better. Sigh.
* Next time I'm in charge, we'll just play dodge ball.

Dodge. Ball.

So. October is here.

Tonight I busted out my new pair of these:

Tra-la-la! I love a new pair of soft, fuzzy slippers. I wear them much too often throughout the day, but I comfort myself in the knowledge that at least I don't pair them with a bathrobe. At least I am DRESSED as I wear my slippers 'til 1pm. And that's something, right?

Today I had a ambitious to-do list:

I am a fan of the list. Today I had 15 items on my list and I managed to...get dressed. And feed a newborn approximately 110 times. I actually did do more than get dressed, but none of it from The List. Mostly I managed kids. Mimi and I hung out this morning reading books and putting away laundry. We picked up the house and freshened things up from the weekend frenzy. Basically the day went like this:

*Woke up & fed baby
* Got Mimi dressed
* Fed baby
* Did Mimi's hair
* Fed baby
* Helped Mimi clean her room
* Fed baby
* Threw in a load of laundry
* Fed baby
* Folded 3 loads of laundry
* Fed baby
* Made Mimi lunch
* Fed baby
* Emptied & loaded dishwasher
* Fed baby
* Talked to Ali on the phone while I tickled Mimi's back
* Fed baby
* Read books to Mimi
* Fed baby
* Had an unofficial meeting on the phone w/ Becky about Young Women
* Fed baby
* Picked up Sis & Max from bus stop
* Fed baby
* Put Max on lockdown until his room was clean
* Fed baby
* Made lazy dinner of chocolate chip waffles & OJ
* Fed baby
* Had Family Night
* Fed baby
* Tucked in the kids & gave Max his obligatory snuggle
* Fed baby
* Now I am staying up WAY too late (is it seriously 1:55am??? oh sheesh--to be continued tomorrow...)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......