"Stop for a minute and take a self-portrait, a snapshot of you in the here and now. What ARE your dreams and goals for 2008? What is your word? What are you thinking about right now as we plunge head-first into the new year?" ~Lelly's SPT Challenge
Do you see it? There's a new little person in there--a "new you!" For me, the first half of 2008 will be dominated by making a human. The second half of the year will be consumed by getting to know this new little person and creating a new family dynamic. This will be a year of changes, physically, spiritually and mentally. What a rush! Some days I feel as if my entire life is about to be turned upside down, and I'm just on the cusp of it all.
Now. As far as resolutions go, I don't make them and this is why: I am in a continual process, all year, of goal-setting and self-assessment. It irritates me to be spiritually or mentally stagnant. It hit me once that this is a result of my youth in the Young Women's program at church, where we were encouraged to make monthly goals in different aspects of life and then record them in our Personal Progress books. Ever after, I was on autopilot! During my college years, I set new goals at the beginning of each semester because those were the points at which I felt I was starting fresh. I stayed in the habit of examining how I lived, day-to-day, from several vantage points and thinking of small things I could do to improve. These perspectives have basically remained fixed from then on. So twice a year I look at my life through these different lenses:
* spiritual
* physical
* intellectual
* emotional
Stephen Covey teaches that each person is multi-faceted; we play many different roles within our one life. Expounding on that, he tells this story in his book First Things First:
I attended a seminar once where the instructor was lecturing on time management. At one point, he said, "Okay, time for a quiz." He reached under the table and pulled out a wide-mouthed gallon jar. He set it on the table next to a platter with some fist-sized rocks on it. "How many of these rocks do you think we can get in the jar?" he asked.
After we made our guess, he said, "Okay. Let's find out." He set one rock in the jar . . . then another . . . then another. I don't remember how many he got in, but he got the jar full. Then he asked, "Is this jar full?" Everyone looked at the rocks and said, "Yes."
Then he said, "Ahhh" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar and the gravel went in all the little spaces left by the big rocks. Then he grinned and said once more, "Is the jar full?"
By this time the class was on to him. "Probably not," we said. "Good!" he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in and it went into all of the little spaces left by the rocks and the gravel. Once more he looked and said, "Is this jar full?" "No!" we roared.
He said, "Good!" and he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in. He got something like a quart of water in that jar. Then he said, " Well, what's the point?" Somebody said, "Well, there are gaps, and if you work really hard you can always fit some more things into your life."
"No," he said, "that's not the point. The point is this: If you hadn't put these big rocks in first, would you ever have gotten any of them in?"
I like the concept of putting the "big rocks" into our life and making them our first priority, then the other things can be fit in as needed. I've learned from Stephen Covey to identify the BIG ROCKS within each role I play in my life and periodically make goals on how to remain focused on those big rocks.
I am a mother, a wife, a spirit occupying a body who must find my purpose on Earth, a daughter, a teacher, a friend, a sister, and a daughter of God. The goals I make--especially those at the beginning of my "new semester"--help me put the BIG ROCKS in the jar first for each role.
The concept of Big Rocks reminds me of my new all-time favorite conference talk, "Good, Better, Best" by Elder Dallin H. Oaks. In his talk, Elder Oaks reminds us that "just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives...As we consider various choices, we should remember that it is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best." This a phenomenal talk and will get you thinking about how to set priorities in your life and strengthen your family. This talk is applicable to everyone and can be helpful no matter your religious affiliaton. Even if you are not LDS, read it and get back to basics!
All this self-assessment I engage in has a downside: I tend to be extremely hard on myself. I'm not sure if this is a twisted little side effect of continual striving and goal-setting, but whatever the reason I tend to never measure up to my own yardstick and am always finding fault with myself. I'm never good enough. I'd like to learn how to be accepting of my efforts for their own sake. I'd like to learn the difference between goal-setting and fault-finding.
So, at the beginning of my "new semester," so to speak, here is what I'm working on:
1) Spiritual (Role: Daughter of God)
* Personal scripture time every day & have the Book of Mormon read by my birthday
* Family prayer each night, without fail
2) Physical (Role: Myself)
* Go to the gym every other day (my intensity has lessened during pregnancy)
3) Intellectual (Role: Myself)
* Read 1 non-fiction book a month
4) Mothering (Role: Mother)
* Watch my tone of voice when I am frustrated. They are just kids and are feeling their way through life--like I am. Focus on teaching instead of yelling in anger.
5) Organizational (Role: Mother & Wife)
* Work a little at a time on organizing my non-digital photos.
* Organize my 72-hr kit into manageable units for each person in the family
My Word for the Year is MOMENTS, which I will have to expand upon in a later post. I'm mentally over-stimulated and need to go detox my brain!
