Here is Marcie's assignment for this week's Tuesday Tell All:
"It is a New Year! A time to start over, rethink and ORGANIZE. Something about this time of year makes me want to declutter and gain control of things that I have let get....well, out of control.
What area do you have figured out? What system has worked for you and your kids?
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Well. I have a love/hate relationship with the word "organized." I love organization. I crave it. I thrive under it. And it does not come naturally to me! I am a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type of girl by nature. I am spontaneous. I am harebrained. But I go a little nuts when my physical surroundings are out of order.Reading over what I've just written makes me feel a bit schizophrenic.
I discovered Flylady in the latter part of 2005 and her approach to structuring life really helped me feel control over my house and family life! By ingraining simple routines into daily and weekly life, I usually have most areas of life under control to some degree.
The area I am going to focus on improving for the next few months is BEDTIME. Argh! Some weeks I do really well at getting my kids bathed, read to and in bed pretty much by 8:30. And other weeks it just seems to all go skewumpus. I really want to get them bathed & in jammies by 7pm because they seem to need a big chunk of time to wind down. And they like quiet time in bed: Even if I have them in bed by 8:00 or 8:30, they still don't end up going to sleep 'til 9:00 or 9:30 because they are fiddling around in bed. I need to really work on having them ready for bed by 7pm or 7:30 so we have time to read books, read from the scriptures a bit, and have 15 minutes or so of quiet time in their own beds. Isabelle LOVES to write in her journal. I catch Max reading with a booklight under his covers. Mimi actually just conks out instantly into REM slumber--but the other two like their quiet time before settling down to sleep.
I also need to figure out a more structured chore system. Each day my kids do an after-school job, but it's not enough help to stay on top of the messes they create. They need to do more than just one simple chore. In addition to their after-school job, they are supposed to do 15 minutes of cleaning/organizing/decluttering in a specified "zone" in their room each week (thank you, Flylady!), but I am totally inconsistent about that. I feel that if I had the system laid out visually for them, we'd be much more consistent.
I'm such an idiot, because I know my solution is right here in this book,
which I've had sitting on my nightstand for almost a year. I really need to just read it. So I need to figure out some sort of visual prompt/system of accountability. I've procrastinated the formulation of a good visual chart type of thing because I have so many ideas that they all kind of merge together and overwhelm me and cause me to have anxiety. Whiteboard? File folders? Individual checklist on their door? Job jar? Star chart? Task cards on hooks? Job sticks that go in "to-do" and "done" pockets.
Excuse me while I go do yoga breathing.
25 comments:
Oooh. You're too motivated! Last year I stole a friend's idea and made a job calendar. Each kid has a different job each day and their own font color so they know who's who. The "everybody" are in another color so they know they all do it. For example, our "everybody" color is purple so things like "read 30 minutes" and "Put away laundry" are in purple. One day #1's job will be take out all the trash, the next day he's dust and vaccuum the stairs, the next day he's clean the little bathroom, etc. #2's jobs are slightly milder than #1's but he gets a smaller weekly allowance. They only get their allowance if they check off every job, every day. The dailies never change. The individual jobs are pretty consistent week by week.
Anyway...I haven't done one in a couple of months (Lazy) and my kids are asking for one. They got used to the structure. I gotta bring it back.
Long comment...sorry! Good luck with it all!
my mom used fear as a motivator. it seemed to work pretty well ;)
you should ask kay how she does it. her 4 year old goes to bed every night at 8pm with nary a whimper. the first time i baby sat for him, he was maybe 2, and at 8pm i said lets get on your jammies. and he did. then i was like goodnight. he said goodnight sassy, curled up in bed and went to sleep. i was like "wow, i dont know what moms complain about. this is easy!" hahaha.... even the 12 year old goes to be easily. i dont know how she does it.
we do what i fondly call the 5 minute boogie at my house. i set the timer for 5 minutes and everyone picks up and PUTS AWAY anything they can see. (you can't just shove it under the bed) we did it when my sis was here and she was super impressed. we do that about 3 or 4 times a week. i think it very fly ladyish.
as far as chores...the 12 year old is responsible for dog food and water, loading and unloading the dishwasher, trash and recyclables, and vacuuming the living rooms. but he doesn't get an allowance yet. i usually (always!) have to remind him to do any of those things so i don't feel like he can have an allowance for chores if he is not doing them on his own. and he is not complaining. so we will just keep on until he does!
the 4 year old helps put the tupperware away when c is emptying the dishwasher. not much chores for that guy yet. but he does pick up his room and put his dirty clothes in the hamper.
good luck and keep us informed on what you are doing! and how that book is! i may get that myself
and amy i'm really impressed by your organization!! i may steal that idea too.
I stink at this subject, which is why I can't do the TTA this week. FAr too revealing.
Right now the only reason I am awake is because my eyelids are glued open with sleep goo. Our Darling Evie won't sleep (I think Jon brought her in for my second shift at about 6am) and I still have to get the other two to school.
On days like today the thought of organization makes me queasy.
Oh Crystal--you are so adorably cute! I just love reading your posts.
And I love that you pretend to not be organized! (This from a girl with a fabulous house that always looks very nice and presentable, whenever we go out to lunch it is YOUR kids that have their little project bags of activities to keep them entertained, and somehow you're organized enough, that even in the middle of the busiest time of the year you're building gumdrop houses and frosting cookies!) But I won't let anyone else know.
See you at dance in about an hour!
Love ya cutie!
sooo funny! I really thought about cueing that music when I wrote that too! ALWAYS AND FOREVER! I swear we are on the same brain wave most of the time...weird.
Glad you're organized! And yes, I could use a copilot...
First of all I love the word skewumpus. Second I was good at doing chores and getting them to bed and now that has flown out the window. Thanks for motivating me so I can get back into the swing of things. When school is in I just have a everyday job list of the same jobs along with reading and homework. Seems to work.
I was thinking about yoga breathing by the end of your post. Good luck, let us know what you decide to do.
Wow! I haven't even thought this far ahead. I wish I had more advice to offer you, but I don't. So how about you figure it out and then you can tell me what works and what doesn't! ;)
dang it lady! now i feekl compelled to TRY thinking about getting organized. not probably trying to be organized but i will TRY to THINK about it! i man need to TRY that book too! you rock and i am thinking mre along the lines of Wendi!YOU ROCK!
you are way organized than me. and i think you are RAD!
feel I FEEL compelled! not feekl
Oh, girlfriend. I could do a whole post about my method of job charts and sleep schedules. Maybe I will.
I think you have to find something that is easy for you. Kids can be trained to do anything, but figure out a way that makes it easiest for you. If that's a job chart, reward system, or just the fear of heaven put into the children - don't give yourself more work by trying to create organization that doesn't work.
Also, eat chocolate whenever you want. That's a good solution to any problem.
That book must work wonders. Look how happy that kid is cleaning the toilet.
I wish I could offer you some excellent advice as far as bedtimes and chores, but I'm in the same boat. (I'll be checking here for ideas though!!)
About the puppy - he's a yorkshire terrier. I'm sooo NOT a dog person, but we did this for the kid's sake. I have to admit, I'm a changed person when it comes to this pet! My mom is having a good long laugh about it too.
I agree with starting bedtime MUCH earlier than you expect them to actually sleep. It's so much easier in the winter when it gets dark early. It seems like the most well laid bedtime routines fly out the window in the summer.
Umm...from Wendi's comment, I am gathering someone is sooo much more on top of things than she admits :)
You GO girl.
And to quote Forrest...
"That's all I'm gonna say about that."
Hey, send me your email and I'll send you a copy of my calendar. It's a little outdated...I have cleaning ladies now, remember? I've got to come up with jobs that won't undo what my little ladies work so hard to perfect!
You saw that brilliant tasks board that Lisa made for me (or rather, Erin and Isla) for Pink Christmas? I can see that working really well for both of them, although Isla's not even 2 yet so I can't say how she'll pan out as a helper - but I'm anticipating competitiveness over each of them completing their hooks!
I can entirely see your point about bedtimes. Erin's only 5-and-a-half, so I don't really have problems with rebelliousness over when she goes to bed at the moment (I'm sure it will come!) - but I like to think we've sort of done a good job with Erin so far in that we've religiously stuck to a repetitive routine with her since she was really small.
I dunno. The routine for the kids probably starts with the routine for the parent. Have you got Supernanny over there? She's regularly berating the parents for not sticking to their guns over routines and parameters - sort of suggesting if YOU don't follow the routine, why on earth would the kids?
ANYWAY!!! You shouldn't actually be fretting about any of this, in your confined state, madam. But then again, VENT away on here. Don't bottle things up.
Oh, and lastly, I think you should always make everyone in the family aware of what you're doing. Husband, kids etc. I don't think a mother helps her cause by doing all her jobs 'invisibly' and not uttering a word about it, all saintly and meek. If you do that, it's simply not appreciated or understood because it's just out of sight/out of mind.
I make it daily practise to harp on about everything I do for everyone. Fnarr fnarr!
I asked about an organizational book on Wendi's blog. Is the Flylady book the one I'm asking about? If so, what's the title? Or is it the parenting breakthrough book on your post that has the Flylady in it?
Thanks a bunch. I agree with Wendi, you have a great blog. Sorry I don't always post comments, but you're a riot!
Desiree
Never heard of Fly lady. I'll have to check her out. Great ideas!
I read the book a couple of months ago and loved it. It has lots of good/realistic advice. You'll have to read it.
I don't do charts because I can't stick to them and then I would appear inconsistent. I prefer to be completely consistent - lame all the time. I look around at what has to be done and try to give each kid a job that seems equal to the other kid's. If they whine, I assign that job to another kid and give the whiner a really yucky job. They don't complain too much anymore.
Crystal! Hello! This is Megan Hoybjerg (Mike's cousin- Christian's- wife...kind of crazy intro!) Anyhow, I saw your blog off of Kristins and just wanted to tell you how cute you are! You have such a great blog! I was wondering if you wouldn't mind me putting that great quote of Pres. Hinckley's on my own?? I love it! You have such cute ideas- Worldless Wednesday and 52 Blessings! How fun! Anyhow, it was fun to see pictures of you guys. We hope you are doing well and had a good holiday!
LOVE the photo on the cover of the book with the smiling kid cleaning the toilet...riiiiight! Ha!
We have to start bedtime about 1/2 hour before they actually need to be sleeping. It can be a long process!
I've read that book I really really liked it. I never follow charts or folders I don't even really consistently use a notebook or anything that could keep me organized. Hey maybe that what wrong with me! I do try to clean/ organize one thing a day. and I have a calender for 2008 in a drawer if I need to look at some thing. Have I told you lately how much I enjoy reading your blog and I think your a really great person!
Take care Hugs Chrissy
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