Yes, it's true

Last Wednesday I opened my door and saw this:


My eyeballs popped out of my head. No really, I think they did pop a little. I had absolutely no expectation of the resident...

freak/con artist/thief/creep/sociopath/squatter/compulsive liar/ felon/fraud/
former jailbird/false-identity-creater/Mark Hacking wannabe

...moving out! I mean, all it took was 2 ½ months of telling him to get out, a lawyer calling him, an eviction & threat of a lawsuit. EASY!

I actually expected him to push us all the way to a lawsuit, seeing as none of my other, more reasonable tactics worked. I have waited a week to post about the ending of my life as a Lifetime TV Special because I fully expected an Epilogue. I am suspicious. He was so adamantly NOT leaving, even though he'd never paid us a dime for this house, and then he just obeys the eviction & moves out. Every step of the way he knew just what to do to con his way with gullible people (that would be me & Mike--gulp), and he's obviously done it before. Suffice it to say, I'm more than a little nervous. Bad guys who are mad do bad-guy-type-of-things. Especially to women (me) who expose them in front of their fiancee and said fiancee ends up leaving the bad guy!

I'd been planning for a week beforehand how to have a really good time with the big move-out, if it did indeed happen. And once it did, and I actually saw their dumb moving van--moving their stuff out of the house I'd been making payments on for THEM to live there, I couldn't go through with all my blogging plans. I had planned to stand on the sidewalk & snap photos left & right. Instead I just felt sick and depressed.

Mike & my mom said to STAY AWAY and don't anger the man who created a wack-o false life. Mike said, "No! YOU are the person who marched over before and laid all his lies out before his fiancee! Don't give him reason for revenge!" So I didn't go snap my photos and get my closure. Nope. Instead, I ended up marching over (again) and giving him the what-for. That was really smart. And we can rack it up as another Jerry Springer episode. So proud of my white-trash self.

Now we have to sell the thing. Anyone want to buy a beautiful house? It's a bargain at $950,000!!!

Hooooooo Boy. I think I need to run and throw up.